This cannot be happening to me..

There was a crowd of 300 people standing before me. That meant a total of 600 eyes all staring at the hopeful young girls standing on the stage hoping to change their destinies in the next few moments. The year was 1976 and I was participating in the Navy Ball. I knew I wasn’t going to win. No, I’m not being modest. I was quite a siren, they say. Forty-six years later the mirror still tells me the same story. Yes, I said I wasn’t modest.

I cannot recollect the time of the year when the Navy Ball was held in the US Club in Navy Nagar, Mumbai. But I do remember the weather to be somewhat pleasant. And trust me when you’re on the stage with some of the most beautiful women in the city, the dampness of Mumbai summers does not help. So, I mentioned that I knew I wasn’t going to win, that’s because the winner was always given special treatment. It was very apparent to the rest of us. I waited on the stage with baited breath nonetheless. The runner up position was still in the offing. And the announcements were made. I made it to fifth place. I flaunted the purple gown I had especially gotten sewn for this occasion.

I wasn’t quite the quitter, so I decided to participate again in the Miss India contest in 1977. The contest took place in a banquet room in The Oberoi Towers. We had our round of selections and once again I made it to only the top 5. Not to allege, but we all know behind the scenes money and political power in these contests, the winners are always pre-decided.

After a while, I started getting modeling offers which did not really interest me owing to my introverted nature. I did a few advertisements and fashion shows because of my mother, she was vicariously fulfilling her dreams of glamor through me. Guilty as charged – I did enjoy the fashion shows! They were really fun, especially the catwalk, running behind the curtains to change and getting back on stage. Wow! Those were lovely times. I was hobnobbing with famous models and elites like Mazhar Khan, Vani Ganpathy and many more. They were all very nice and helpful.

I took a break from all this for a while, took admission in Jaihind College and concentrated on my studies. I finished my college and enrolled for Government Law College (GLC) to study law, everything was going as per my plan. I wanted to study, marry, have children and be a good home maker. My father started an office in New York for semi-precious stones, and me being the Kajol from DDLJ, went for a 3 month vacation all girl trip to the USA. We had a whale of a time, lots of shopping and enjoyment. Like they say good things come to an end, we finally departed to our home country with bags brimming with goodies and stars in our eyes.

Those were beautiful days which went by like a dream. Affluent lifestyle, staying in SOBO, studying in one of the best schools, good college, and not to brag but I was pretty, so doors opened easily for me everywhere. Life couldn’t get better.

In my first year in GLC, the famous Indian matchmaking began. Once the news reached my neighbors, they got me a proposal. They introduced me to my future husband to be. At first, I refused but again after a few months they re-sent the proposal. My parents were happy with it so I accepted. My fiancée lived in Surat, he was raised in Bombay and studied in the best school of South Bombay. He was very smart, intelligent, had style and class – this was important for me. I was to shift to Surat post the wedding and after a lot of cajoling from my parents I agreed to the move. After 2 months of engagement, we had a very lavish wedding at the Taj Hotel, Colaba in 1982, it was a very extravagant affair with a lot of pomp and glamor, my father had done his best for my marriage. He even got a SHIKSHA specially written and got it read out aloud on the Mike during my pheras.. Everything was like a fairy tale. Happy blissful life with husband and 3 children. I thought I found my happily ever after.

And Then 5^th June 1998 happened….